Point of Presence FINISHED
by gothangelic
Summary: DUE TO FFNET's DECISION, THIS IS HOSTED AT Yahoo Groups ccsyaoi
1. Memories Resurfacing

Point of Presence  
Chapter 1 : Memories Resurfacing

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The feather-light touches of my lover were the clearest sensations I could feel right then. The feel of soft, moist lips being drawn across my collar, and a heavy breath every now and then. My mind was blanketed in a pleasant haze, the likes of which I'd never known before. It was one in a list of many new marvelous feelings I'd discovered that night: feelings I didn't know I'd had the presence to possess. But this seemed to solidify my mental state, make me believe that I was more than a useless being put here only to be a slave to a master, even if this wasn't really happening. Even if the memory was denied me. Even if he denies it with so many words and actions. It didn't matter. Right then, a god and his creation were equals.

We lay nestled in the aftermath, all previous fears of regret obliterating themselves from my formerly self-destructive mind. My fingers found their way into his dark hair, wound there, rested there. His body was a comfortable weight as he half-covered my form, and I could feel him dropping into unconsciousness. He staved it off for another moment, long enough for him to find my face in order to kiss me again. I savored the taste of him on my tongue, realizing dimly that it was not only him that I tasted there. "Aishiteru," he whispered softly. The first time I had heard those words from him. I felt tears of wonder, joy, or maybe even adoration well up and threaten to spill out and stain my pale cheeks. "Aishiteru, Yue... my angel," he managed before sleep claimed him.

I held him tight to me, fearing he would not be there when I woke. "I love you too, Clow."

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A flash of lightning from the storm raging outside woke me. I could no longer feel the presence of my Master beside me, and looked around frantically for him. I realized sadly that it had been merely another memory returning to me in the form of a dream. I was in Clow's old home, in what was now the Tsukishiro residence, in Yukito's bedroom. Clow had suspended this house outside of time for the sole purpose of housing the guardians when we awoke. Keroberos had no use for it, living, as he was, in the Mistress' house. This was the same home that we'd all lived together in back when Clow was alive. Back when Yuki and I were still separate, I'd coaxed him into taking this room. It'd been my room. I don't think I could've handled sleeping in Clow's bedroom without him, even when Yuki's form was naïve, as it no longer was. It would've brought back too many painful memories. The door to Clow's bedroom was closed and locked: it hadn't been opened since the night he died in my arms.

I rose from my bed, no longer able to sleep. A quick glance at the clock in the room informed me that it was another hour until I needed to start the morning routine. I turned on the lamp and padded silently over to the bookshelves lining the walls. They were directly connected to Clow's huge library, which, even in the event of his death, his ever-lingering spells kept updating. "Heinlein," I said softly to it. The bookshelves responding with a gentle shuffling of pages and leather-bound copies of "The Cat Who Walks Through Walls," and "Stranger in a Strange Land," presented themselves to me. All of Heinlein's other books were already residing on the glass table in front of the loveseat by the windowed West wall. I took the proffered books out, thanking the librarian spell, and sat down on the worn-to-comfort loveseat. I chose "Stranger in a Strange Land," setting the other book down next to the stack that had formed.

This was the third time in a week that I'd been unable to sleep without dreaming of him. "Tramp Royale" and "To Sail Beyond Sunset" could attest this point. They were already in the pile of books that I'd read through. I sighed and started to read.

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	2. Routine

Point of Presence  
Chapter 2: Routine

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The sun never rose that day. Not that I had ever really expected it to. I set my book face down on the glass table. I'd only gotten about half way through it before the small chime alarm on the clock went off. I shut it off, deciding on a bath to clear my mind in addition to my morning routine.

Thoughts idly passed through my mind as I went about the mundane tasks that living consisted of. Today was the Friday before a week-long break from school. Another day before I got to spend another lonely week in a house that was full of memories that I had long tried to forget. Another day before I got to spend an entire week alone with remembrance.

I returned to my false form before even bothering to undress. I'd fallen asleep in my true form last night, which is probably the reason I'd dreamed. The warm water was slightly shocking as I stepped into the shower's stream. I leaned forward against the wall, letting the water run over my head, down my body in rivulets for a while. It'd always be an annoyance to shower in my true form. So much, in fact that I'd often enlisted one of the Cards to help me with my hair. As time progressed, it had finally been Clow that helped me. I'd only bathed as Yukito since.

I shook myself out of the memory-induced trance, scolding myself for allowing my mind to wander. I pulled a cloth from the hook and proceeded to wash myself, almost mechanically, before stepping out of the shower and onto the mat. The bath cover pulled off, I climbed the rough stone steps and descended into the hot bath water, letting myself sink down until the water covered my closed eyes. I exhaled, feeling the bubbles rise past my face to the surface before I pulled my face back above the water level.

Another ten minutes, just simmering in the tub, and I deemed myself finished. My thoughts had begun to take over again, and I wasn't in the mood to become even more depressed. Dried off and dressed, I made my way into the kitchen. My rice was waiting for me in the denki gama. Sakura had recently given it to me as a gift, and I found the little electric rice cooker quite a handy thing to have. Especially with my enormous appetite in my false form. My true form was usually reserved for the more serious matters, but as Yuki, I seemed to handle life in general better.

It was getting easier, since I was back to being one person, but just being in my false form, I felt... I don't know. Different, I suppose. I was more comfortable being open as Yukito. Shrugging the idle thought to the side, I put the rice into a bowl and commenced breakfast.

Music was a constant companion in this house. I'd worn out another CD player last week, and a countless amount of discs since I first bought the thing. I had yet to buy another stereo, which is why the radio was on. The soft sounds of Bach drifted through the house as I ate, waiting until it was time to leave for school. Just as I ate the last grain of rice, the clock on the counter chimed seven. Time to leave.

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I waited under the line of Sakura trees in front of the house as I'd done nearly every day I'd lived here as Yukito. I'd agreed as Yukito, and quite happily, might I add, to wait for Touya and Sakura in the mornings so they could ride to school together. Looking up, I began to wonder why I'd chosen this particular location to wait. The heavy raindrops fell, pelting me all over. I was nearly soaked when I saw a car that I recognized as the Kinomoto's making it's way toward me. I smiled, betting that Touya would say something to the effect of "Kaijuu didn't want to get wet," in explanation. In reality, Touya was like a cat threatened with a bath. He hated getting rained on. I really didn't mind that much.

I put on my gameface, Yukito's disguising smile, and waved them down merrily.

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	3. I believe I've drowned

Point of Presence  
Chapter 3: I believe I've drowned

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"Oy! Yuki!"

"Konichiwa, Touya!" I called out, loudly enough that I could be heard over the sounds of the rain pelting the earth. Touya pulled up to me, a slight smile gracing his face.

"Jump in, stranger. Kaijuu, let Yuki in the front and get him the towel."

"I'm not a monster," she replied, climbing over the seat to let me in. I closed the door, sitting back against the plush seat as Touya continued on.

"Thanks, Sakura," I said as she handed me a medium blue towel. It was still warm in my hands, and I pressed it, still folded, to my face, inhaling quietly. There was a scent there that I recognized, but it eluded my mind at the moment.

"How long were you standing out there, Yuki? You're soaked through."

"I was only out there for a few minutes," I assured him. "I've got a change in my locker at school." I rubbed my glasses dry with the towel before attacking my face and neck with it. It'd obviously just been pulled from the laundry. That light fragrance still tickled at my thoughts, and I discreetly pressed it to my face again, trying to figure out where I knew that smell from.

Touya, I realized suddenly. The towel smelled like he did. I dropped both hands into my lap, leaning back against the seat, more than slightly stunned at my epiphany. He must've washed it last night when he was washing the rest of his clothes. I looked over at him, but he never did look right back at me. He was watching with a smile out of the corner of his eye. The smile I saw was a real one.

"I would've been there earlier," he said a moment later, " but the Kaijuu woke up late." I heard Sakura growl from somewhere behind and to the left of me.

"Go easy on her, To-ya," I said with a good-natured smile. "Maybe she couldn't sleep last night." I knew the real reason she'd slept in. Touya did, too, but he didn't want her knowing about that just yet.

She smiled, 'Hanyaan' written across her entire face. "I don't know why you put up with him, Yukito-san. Onichan is a baka sometimes. You're way too nice to be friends with him."

"You're right, Sakura." I said, a hint of mischief making it's way into my voice. "He is an idiot sometimes." An indignant 'Hey!' came from a smiling Touya before I could continue. "But he's got his better points, ne? You'd miss him if he was gone."

Sakura thought for a moment. She sighed. "You're right, Yukito-san. Gomen nasai, Touya."

Touya's response came with a grin. "It's okay, Squirt. You've got dishes tonight."

"Hoe..." she said, slumping back, looking annoyed, possibly even dejected. But she didn't complain.

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Touya dropped Sakura off in front of her school's entrance. She kind of stood there for a moment before running around to his side of the car, opening up the door, and giving him a hug. I saw the proud brother look show itself before he hugged her back. "You need a ride home, Kaijuu?"

"No, I'm going over to Tomoyo's house after school today. Sayonara, Touya!" she called, bounding off to meet her friends who were currently huddled into a group, the main focus being Tomoyo's camera. She waved Sakura down, beckoning her to come and look.

Touya smiled when he saw this and drove on. "She was out late last night, wasn't she?" I nodded.

"We all were. She sensed something in the park."

"What was it?"

"It was Li Shaoran. He was practicing there. Had been for an entire week. She's getting stronger, you know. She can sense more magic now. It's just since she'd never felt Li's magic before, she couldn't recognize it." I laughed. "You should've seen the look on their faces when she realized who it was that she could feel. I don't think I've ever seen them turn redder. Not even when I walk into the room and they start competing."

Touya chuckled as he parked the car, turning it off. We'd gotten to school incredibly early. Nearly a half-hour. Ah, the evils of motor vehicles versus bicycles. "Leave it to the gaki to gyp everyone out of their sleep. I take it you didn't get much sleep last night either."

"No, I didn't. When I got back, I ended up falling asleep as Yue. Even then, I didn't sleep for more than an hour. Dreams woke me."

"I thought you looked a bit under the weather. And considering the current status of the weather, that's saying something." He was still smiling as he grabbed the towel from my lap, rubbing my hair with it. "At least from what I can tell. That wet silver mop of yours is obstructing the view."

I chuckled, grabbing at the towel. I rubbed at it for a while longer before running my fingers through it, combing it through.

"He's going to end up getting Sakura," Touya said quietly after a while. I looked up at him, the puzzlement evident on my face.

"To-ya?"

"Shaoran."

"How do you know?"

"That was one of the last things my mother told me. I can't protect her anymore, Yuki. God knows I've tried." He winced, and I wondered why. "It's like nothing I do has any bearing anymore. Like I've already served my purpose." He winced again, and it looked like he was in pain.

"To-ya? Are you okay?" He shook his head. "What's wrong?" He shook it again.

"I promise I'll tell you later, Yuki. Just..." His eyes slid closed, and he relaxed against the seat. "Just give me a minute."

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	4. Return

Point of Presence  
Chapter 4: Return

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We waited until the rain no longer fell in sheets to get out of the car. It still fell in cold, heavy drops on us. Touya was remarkably silent, even for himself, as we walked through the slowly-filling parking lot. He seemed not to notice the rain as it began to wet down his hair and begin to make trails down his face. He was definitely not himself today, and didn't bother trying to hide it anymore. Had something, someone upset him? Or was he just not feeling well? Scenario after scenario ran through my mind as I tried to figure out that look in his eyes.

We finally made it into class, taking our seats as the warning bell rang. There was still five minutes until class started,and we were still the only ones in the classroom. I turned to him, and I'm sure there was concern etched into my face. "To-ya, maybe you should go home. You don't look well."

He shook his head slowly. "I'll make it, Yuki." It seemed like all the blood from his face had gathered in his cheeks, leaving the rest with a ghostly pallor. His eyes were glossy and unfocused, like he was hiding an enormous amount of pain from showing. It looked as if it was all he could do not to either pass out or shed tears. Even his teeth were clenched.

Class started, then. As the day wore on, Touya seemed to get worse. Every once in a while, I'd look over, a worried look on my face. He'd notice, glance at me out of the corner of his eye, and smile to reassure me. The last time I looked over, he didn't look back. His eyes were shut tight, and his hands were balled up tight in fists. When he moved his hand, it left a small smear of blood. He'd cut his palm on his own fingernails. I looked frantically up at the Sensei, and immediately succeeded in getting his attention. I flicked my gaze to Touya to let him know what the frightened expression on my face was for.

He halted his lesson, mid-sentence, and the class was soon filled with a speculative sort of silence. "Kinomoto Touya?" he asked tentatively.

"Hai, Sensei?" Touya responded calmly, seeming to relax. Something a little less noticeable than body language told me otherwise. Nothing had changed except his level of control.

"Daijoubu?"

"Hai, Sensei. I'm ... I'm fine." His eyes gave him away again.

"Tsukishiro-San, take Kinomoto-San to the office to get passes and get him home. You've got the homework?"

"Hai," I said gratefully.

"Go on, then." I picked up our books, loading them all into my knapsack. Touya had pushed himself up, and was leaning heavily on the desk. He looked to be pondering whether or not he could make it to the door without any help. I didn't let him decide. He looked down me as I got underneath his arm, making him lean on me. I heard him sigh heavily as we left the classroom. "Gomen, Yuki."

"To-ya," I said gently. "Don't apologize. There's no need to. You did nothing wrong." His head fell forward, his eyes closing, and he let me guide him to the locker room to get our shoes and jackets. After that, it was a three-hall journey to the front office. It took a while, but we did make it eventually.

The secretary on duty took one look at Touya and signed the passes. "Arigatou," I said softly and helped Touya out of the building. By the time we were in the parking lot, I was nearly carrying Touya to the car. His arm was draped over my shoulders, his head resting against mine, like he was too weak to hold it up himself. "To-ya, where are your keys?" He seemed a bit dazed at hearing the question, but he regained enough sense to answer.

"Left pocket. In the blazer." I reached into the pocket, and after a bit of manipulation, I managed to pull the keyring free from between us. I tossed my knapsack in the back of the car, helping Touya into the passenger side. He sank into the seat the second he sat down, letting out another deep sigh. He must've really been hurting. I'd never seen him like this before, and quite frankly, it frightened me. Clow had been like this before he died. I didn't think I could survive a second death like that. The death of someone I cared for as much as Clow. I winced as I remembered that I'd barely survived the first.

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	5. Aid

Point of Presence  
Chapter 5: Aid

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It was raining even harder as I pulled into the driveway, parking the car. I got out, going over to the passenger side, and opening the door. Touya was quiet, his eyes closed tightly. Gods, he looked miserable. I changed into Yue, mainly for the superior strength I had in that form, lifting Touya in my arms. An odd expression crossed his face then, and he looked up at me with the clearest eyes I'd seen from him that day.

"Nani... " He was clearly surprised at this apparent sudden improvement. "What did you do?" I shrugged, cradling him close and using my wings to keep him dry as I brought him inside his home. After nudging the door closed with my foot, I dropped our book bags inside the door and carried him upstairs, headed for his room. I'm sure an irked expression crossed my face as I saw that his door was closed. Leave it to Touya. I should've expected that, though. He was rather particular about his privacy.

I opened the door with a stray tendril of magic, and Touya shuddered. Another puzzled glance down at him revealed that a strangely peaceful look had set upon him. I blinked slowly, taking him in his room. The covers on his bed were already neatly folded down. Points for laziness. I set him down, and he just laid there for a moment, breathing deeply. He looked up at me sheepishly.

"Can you give me a hand with this?" 'This' ended up being his clothes. The blush that Yuki surely would've worn was hidden effectively by my currently impassive face. I took a step closer to his bedside, helping Touya shed his blazer, tie, and button-down shirt. His shoes and socks went next. I was silently thankful that he was able to get his slacks off by himself, because the way things were going, I wasn't completely sure I'd have been able to keep myself from indulging in an extra caress. I turned away as he pulled the plain white T-shirt out from the waistband and began to undo the button, giving him some semblance of privacy. We'd changed together countless times before, and in doing so, seen each other in nothing more than boxers, but this felt like an entirely different situation.

I heard cloth making its way into the laundry basket across the room, and covers shifting. When I turned around again, I saw that Touya was mostly situated, lying on his side, the comforter enveloping him near completely. He'd gathered the blanket around himself, pressing his lips and nose into the coil of fabric that he was latched onto. He looked over at me, as if he was trying to puzzle some aspect of me out. I nearly laughed. If that's what he was trying to do, he'd give himself a migraine. Just like I had.

I glanced around the room, and something I'd never noticed before caught my attention. There was a small plush rabbit with floppy pink ears sitting merrily on top of his bookcase. I took a few steps closer to it, wondering why it's stitched pink nose and bright amber eyes struck me as familiar. I placed it a moment later. Last year, he'd won one at the festival and given it to Sakura. This was the one that I won at the archery game, and given him, mostly to tease him about his sister complex. I hadn't known that he'd even kept it. I reached up, setting it in my palm, and looking at it for a second. Then I looked at Touya. Was that a blush I saw? Or was it just part of Touya's being sick?

I took it with me when I pulled a chair up next to the bed, sitting down on it, ever mindful of my wings and tail of hair. I nestled the toy up next to Touya's face. He glared at me, daring me to make a comment. When I just smiled slyly, he rolled his eyes, looking at me somewhat warily.

"You don't have to stay here," he said. If he was as weak as he sounded right then, I wasn't about to leave him here alone. "I'm feeling a bit better."

"If you'd like to be alone, I'll go downstairs, but I'm not leaving until at least Sakura or Kero gets here. Knowing you, you'll try something you're not up to and get yourself killed."

"Glad to know you've got so much confidence in me, Yue," he said sourly. "I'm fine, really."

"Lies are more effective if you can say them with your eyes, To-ya." He met my violet gaze briefly, barely nodding in acquiescence before letting his eyes slide closed. He laid there, mostly silent, for almost ten minutes before I heard his breath quiver when he sighed softly. I narrowed my eyes, and watched as a tremor ran through his body. I looked up, watching his face flush before my eyes. He shivered again, curling up. I waited a moment for him to ask for help. When it became apparent that he wasn't going to, I sighed. Your pride will be your downfall, my friend.

Without a word, I slipped my wing under the covers, blanketing Touya's shaking form, chiding him gently with my eyes. He looked surprised, but quickly relaxed into the warmth the embrace of the feathers and flesh beneath. "Arigotou," he said softly, sounding like he was falling asleep.

"I'll stay until Sakura comes home, ne?" I offered. He merely nodded. If he had asked me to stay for the rest of the night, I'd have done it without a second thought. "Maybe get you something to eat later?" He shook his head, almost violently.

"I haven't been able to hold anything more than water down for over a week," he said. I looked at him in disbelief. "I've tried. Please, believe me, I've tried." His voice was desperate suddenly. "Don't tell Sakura," he asked. "I don't want her worrying about me--"

"Like you worry about her?" I asked, although not in jest. I knew how much he did worry, how much of an effort he put into protecting her. Even more so, now that he didn't have his powers. "I promise, To-ya. Try to get some rest now." I'd be the one worrying for the following hours, remembering the memories that had come with the transfer of his power.

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	6. Sympathy

Point of Presence  
Chapter 6: Sympathy

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Three hours later, Touya was peacefully asleep, his arms around me, curled up within my wings. About an hour ago, I'd helped Touya down to the kitchen upon his request. I went about making him something I thought he'd be able to keep down: broth and soda crackers. He ate it slowly as I sat next to him at the table, staring down at my hands, trying to look non-threatening. He had a blanket wrapped around him as he tried to drank from the mug. He did so slowly. The look of concentration on his face told me that he was trying to keep it down. When he'd finished about half of the mug, he set it on the table next to the plateful of crackers.

He shut his eyes, leaning back in the chair. "Yue... I-- " he paused, shuddering. "I'm going to be sick." There was a panicky note in his voice as he struggled to stand. I led him into the bathroom, none too soon. He collapsed in front of the toilet, mere moments before his stomach proceeded to empty its contents. I stood in the doorway, wincing as I heard Touya. I'd seen him ill before, but never violently so. I had the foresight to have a cold washcloth and glass of water ready for him when he was through.

He sat back against the counter, breathing heavily, his eyes still squeezed shut, a residual tear making its way down his face. I knelt beside him, offering the cloth to him. He accepted it gratefully, wiping roughly, angrily at his mouth. I handed him the glass of water, and he drank some, soothing his parched throat.

"I'm sorry," he gasped, his voice scratchy, "that you had to see that." My eyes narrowed in concern.

"Hush, To-ya," I said softly. "I guess that was a little much, ne? Let's get you back to bed." He tried to muffle a whimper as I gathered him, helping him to stand. His legs gave out halfway up the stairs. He'd exhausted himself after an entire week of this. I carried him the rest of the way, cradled in my arms like a child. I could see his eyes darkened with lack of sleep, and his face had thinned slightly. I set him on his bed, pulling the blankets over him. He immediately shivered with the contact of the cooled touch of the bedsheets, curling up around himself.

I was at a loss for words when he looked up at me, shivering, obviously wanting to ask something of me. He'd almost overcome that destructive pride of his. Almost, and probably temporarily. That pride was something that was uniquely Touya. He looked to be so ill that even he was willing to admit to needing help.

"Yue," he said, a shiver running through his body, catching him in the middle of my name, and making his voice waver. "I... Will you... " I smiled sadly, nodding. Even as miserable as he was, he couldn't bring himself to ask for help. I slid into the bed next to him, laying there quietly for a moment.

I restrained a light gasp as I felt his arms finding their way around me, hoping he didn't hear my heart quicken. I regained myself, wrapping the still-shivering boy next to me in my wings. He settled his cheek against my hair, and I allowed myself to rest my forehead against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"Arigotou, Yue," he said softly into my hair, then fell silent. "I don't feel so bad now. Not so sick." My brow furrowed, and I wondered what he had meant by that. Was there something more to this than I'd originally thought? I was left in silence to ponder as Touya slowly fell asleep next to me.

I remembered the last time I held Clow in my arms, how weak he felt, and how weak I felt for not being able to do anything more to help him. Touya clung to me in his sleep, still shivering lightly next to me. I thought back to Clow's last night alive, and had to suppress my tears. That was the night I thought that whatever little heart I had, curled up on the bed next to my Master and died along with him. Not even the promises he'd made that night could comfort me. Promises that he'd be back, that I was truly a piece of his soul, that I would live on and find another. I didn't want that, all those years ago. I just wanted my Master, my family, alive, well, and happy.

Was he right, though? He kept every promise but one. He was back, albeit in two separate incarnations. He'd proven that I was actually a piece of his soul, because I felt his death, his births, as well as his descendants. Touya was a descendant of one of Clow's reincarnations. I'd felt him since the start.

But... did I love him? "This isn't the end for you, Yue. For me either. We're only both beginners. When we next meet, we'll both be in love with someone else." Those had been Clow's words to me, and Kaho's words to Touya. Could she and Clow's reincarnation... I sighed as I realized it was probably true. He'd found Kaho, and... I'd found Touya. It didn't startle me as I'd expected. I let myself ponder this new revelation for a while, just laying in the circle of Touya's strong arms.

My fingers made their way to my wrist, winding themselves around it without any conscious thought on my behalf. Clow had made sure that there was someone waiting for me when I woke . That's how he'd been so sure of himself. I felt the first tear of emotion since the Clow had admitted to loving me sliding down the side of my face. "Arigotou, Clow. I'm sorry for ever doubting you."

I molded myself to Touya's chest, then, and let myself forget everything except the sound of his heartbeat beneath my ear.

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	7. Dreaming of Reality

Point of Presence  
Chapter 7: Dreaming of Reality

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Touya was still soundly asleep when I felt Sakura return. Dusk had fallen already, and the already-dark sky melted into black. The rain outside still fell heavily, occasionally splashing Touya's window and distracting me from my thoughts.

I slid from his arms, leaving a pillow and the stuffed rabbit in my place. I allowed myself one more glance at his sleeping form before I tore myself away, walking out of his room as quietly as I could. He whimpered in his sleep, and that made me wonder even more. Maybe he and I actually were connected in some way.

I walked down the upstairs hallway, and was nearly run over by the Sakura, who had just bounded up the stairway. "Hoee!" she yelled, and I quickly put my fingers across her lips, hushing her. When she calmed, I let her speak. "Hi, Yue! I didn't know you were here. Kero's downstairs. Where's Oniichan?"

"Mistress, come with me downstairs." She gave me a puzzled look, but followed as I swept past her, shrinking my wings into nothingness. I sat down on the couch in the living room, and gestured for her to sit next to me.

"Yue, what is it? Did something happen?" I nodded solemnly.

"Your brother is very sick, Sakura. He has been all week." Sakura nodded, her face worried. "He can't even eat."

"You've been with him all day, haven't you?" I nodded.

"I took him home from school, yes."

"Are you staying here tonight?" I hesitated. My senses told me that I should stay here. Something wasn't right. Sakura took my face in her small hands, breaking my thought process. "You don't look well, either, Yue. You look tired. Don't stay here tonight. Go home and rest. I'll call you if he gets any worse. I promise. Kero and I can keep an eye on him."

I looked at her pensively. Should I leave? "Yue, get some rest. You can't help Oniichan if you're falling asleep on the job." She smiled, trying to reassure me. It, unfortunately, didn't work as she had intended. "I've got Yukito's phone number. Go home now."

I nodded, and without letting myself hesitate further, flew home. The second I landed, I donned Yukito's form, stripping down to my boxers on the way to my bedroom. I was deeply, unfortunately not dreamlessly, asleep before my face touched the cool fabric of the pillow.

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I was held from behind, the mage's strong arms clasped around my stomach as I sat back against him. We were on the roof of our home in England. Only his breath, Keroberos' light snores, and the sounds of the night found my ears. He bent to kiss my cheek affectionately as we sat there, staring up at the moon, my namesake.

"We can't stay like this forever, can we?" I asked him. He shook his head, although not sadly.

"No, we can't. I will miss these days. But we will stay like this for the rest of my life. Promise me that you won't give up on your life after I'm gone, Yue," he pleaded.

"I... I cannot promise that, Master, but... I will try."

"And I thank you for that in advance, koi. I want you and Keroberos to live and be happy." Clow's lips met mine, and I felt his magic making its way into me, filling my being with a cool blue wash. I was left gasping from the sensation as his flesh left contact with mine, and I could still feel his lips on mine, his power coiling inside of me.

"Am I dreaming this?" I asked him, still out of breath. He nodded slowly. "This isn't real?"

"Oh, no, Yue, this is very real. Your magic has grown since you came into existence. It has surpassed even mine, and hails my spirit each night with a persistence that I cannot deny. I'm here because you needed me, and called to me."

"What did you just do to me?" I asked, feeling the slightest bit frightened. I'd never wielded this amount of power before.

"I boosted your strength. Your power has not yet matured. It began it's transformation when you Touya gave up his spirit vision, and the rest of his magic to you. My addition will complete it. You'll need it soon, koi."

"When, Master? How will I know when it's needed?" I asked, leaning the slightest bit further into his embrace.

"You'll know, Yue," he said, punctuating my name with a deep, gentle, undemanding kiss. "Wake now, my love. Someone needs you."

"No, Master! Don't leave me again," I pleaded softly.

"I'll never be gone so long as you need me. I can return when ever you dream of me. Go on," he urged. "Wake yourself now. Don't let happiness out of your grasp. It's my gift to you." I suddenly wished I could weep to relieve the ache in my throat. It was so tight that I could barely breathe past it.

I snapped awake with an anguished cry as the trilling of the phone began to sound.

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	8. In Search

Point of Presence  
Chapter 8: In Search

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I snapped up, leaping from the bed, causing myself to tangle my legs in the blankets and sheets. I fell to the floor, both my feet bound together, and uttered a caustic swear. I viciously kicked at the sheets, freeing myself, and lunged for the phone once again, my glasses not even crossing my mind. My fumbling hands found it on the fifth ring, and I lifted it from the cradle, catching my breath.

"Moshi moshi?" I asked as politely and audibly as possible. A sob from the other end greeted me. "Mistress? Sakura, what happened?"

"Yuki... " she sniffled. "I'm at the hospital. It's Oniichan. After you left, he got out of bed. He passed out at the top of the stairs, and--" I didn't hear the rest of her sentence. The phone fell from my hands and clattered to the floor. I sank to my knees next to it, and I could hear the faint buzz of Sakura's voice. With shaking hands, I lifted it back to my ear.

"Gomen nasai, what did you say?" I heard the tremor in my voice as I prayed.

"He fell down most of the stairs before Keroberos could catch him. The doctors don't know what's wrong with him, Yuki. He's real sick." She sobbed again. "We can't find Tousan. He's out on a dig until the end of the month, and the doctors won't let me see him, and--"

"Sakura, which hospital?" One of us needed to keep his wits about him.

"Grove," she answered after a moment. I'm in the waiting room with Kero."

"I'll be there as fast as I can."

"Arigotou, Yuki. Be careful."

"Hai," I said, turning the phone off. I stayed there on the floor, on my knees. The doctors didn't know what was wrong yet. Dozens of possibilities shot through my mind, none of them comforting. I felt myself begin to shapechange, reverting to the form and mental set of Yue, like I normally did when crises occurred. No, I reasoned with myself. Sakura needed to see Yukito. Not Yue. Not right now.

I stood, somewhat shakily, going to find clothes, cursing myself for sleeping in my boxers again.

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I got to the hospital shortly after three in the morning. I'd only taken on wings in Yukito's form for the urgency of the call. I needed to be there, and quickly. I followed Yue's instincts and found Sakura with ease. She was sitting in one if the chairs, cradling Kero against her chest. When she looked up, I saw that her gorgeous green eyes had turned pink and were filled to the brim with tears.

"Yuki... "

"They still haven't let you see him?" She shook her head. I took a seat next to the crying cardcaptor, placing a hand on her back, stilling the sob's tremors. She latched onto me, crying softly into my chest. I had been right the first time. This situation was clearly handled better by Yuki. I simply let her cry, stroking her back. She soon fell asleep in my arms. That made me wonder how long she'd actually been here.

I felt a nudge on my shoulder, and I turned to see Kero hovering there, posing as a toy. He landed, speaking softly to me. "She's been here all night. I'm worried."

"About Sakura? Or To-ya? And why didn't she call me sooner?" I realized, too late, that I'd used his nickname. Kero looked at me suspiciously before answering.

"I'm worried about both of them. And she didn't call you because when she saw Touya fall down the stairs, she went into shock. I had to call the emergency services. He just stood there, looked down at me, then keeled over. I know you're attached to him and all, but I don't think there's much we can do to help them right now." I looked over at him indignantly.

"What do you mean, I'm 'attached?' We're just friends. What are you implying?" It was his turn to look indignant.

"You know exactly what I'm implying. If he was simply a friend, I don't think he would've risked as much for your ass as he has. Denial has always been one of your favorite pastimes, Yue." I looked away, stung by his words.

"That hurt, Keroberos," I said softly, my voice filling with pain.

"I know, Yue. Love is like that. And for what it's worth," he said, nuzzling against my neck. "I miss Clow, too." Kero dropped from my shoulder to the bench and curled up in Sakura's arms. Her head rested on my lap, her breathing now even and quiet. It seemed like forever before a nurse -- a man in a blue scrubs -- stepped into the waiting room. Seeing that Sakura was asleep, he spoke softly.

"Kinomoto Touya is awake. You can see him now if you'd like. Room 800." I smiled my thanks and stood, careful not to wake the restful girl, and went off in search of Touya.

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	9. Two Days

Point of Presence  
Chapter 9: Two Days 

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I reached room 800 in record time, but found myself hesitating, my hand on the doorknob. Smile, I told myself. For his sake, smile. "It's okay, Yuki. You can come in." Startled, I opened the door, my gameface on, unwavering as I met Touya's eyes from across the room. Touya looked a little pale, but he didn't seem to be injured. There was an IV embedded in his arm. Touya smiled at me, albeit weakly.

The room was cheerful enough, but there was a lingering feeling of pain and sadness there that I couldn't shake.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, a little at a loss for words.

"Not too bad, considering," he replied, leaning into his pillow. He even sounded weaker. "Did they tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"What's been wrong with me." I shook my head. "At least I know why I've been feeling so sick. I thought the headaches were migraines." I shook my head again, confused. Touya had said nothing to me about headaches. "It's been happening more and more frequently during the last month," he continued.

"You never said anything, To-ya." He nodded.

"I didn't want to worry you or Sakura or Tousan with something you couldn't help me with."

"What do you mean?"

"Headaches, fainting, dizzy-spells, nausea. It's been happening a lot this last month." I looked at him critically, my eyes shifting to violet and back to cover. "I'm dying, Yuki."

He watched helplessly as my eyes filled with denial, disbelief, anguish, and fear. "How?" was the only word capable of escaping my lips right then, as all of my energy was focused on holding back the flood of tears that my deep amber eyes wanted to spill.

"Cancer," he said. "Terminal. It was never treatable. My body poisoned itself, trying to fend it off. Two days, Yuki." I could tell by the aura he exuded that he had probably overstated. Poisoned by his own body.

"Oh, god, Touya..."

"It's all right," he said, his voice wavering a bit. "Okasaa visited me. She said not to worry. That everything would work itself out." He fell silent, meeting my eyes with frightened dark orbs of his own. "I'm scared, Yuki."

I covered his hand with mine, looking at his face. I tried to say that it would be all right, but the words died on my lips. I tried to smile, but gave up when I realized that it would just look hollow. Instead, I just nodded, tightening my grip on Touya's hand.

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It took a lot of convincing to keep Touya in the hospital that night. I called Daidouji Sonomi, and explained the situation to her. She agreed to watch over Sakura until Kinomoto Fujitaka returned, and not to tell her what'd happened to her brother. The last bit was one of Touya's requests. He didn't want to worry her.

He told her that he just felt a bit under the weather, and didn't want her to catch the cold. They'd both returned home, me in tow, to pack Sakura some essentials.

"Oniichan? Are you sure you're okay?" she had asked. He simply smiled, drawing her in a hug.

"I'll be fine. Don't worry about me." The look on his face told me that he was saying his goodbye. "Take care of yourself, kaijuu."

"Bye, Oniichan. Take care of him, Yuki." She bounded past me, and out to the waiting car. I looked over at Touya with my typical expression: cheerful and dazzling as a light bulb, but just as empty.

"Yuki, that smile hurts to look at." My expression softened at this, but the mask stayed in place. Touya always had a sixth and seventh sense about things like that. "I don't see how you can do it."

"It's either smile or cry, and this is more effective. You do it too, To-ya. Your blank faces work at least as well, but one look at your eyes, and you reveal your soul."

Oh, how I'd hit the proverbial nail on the proverbial head with that one.

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	10. The Tables Have Turned

Point of Presence  
Chapter 10: The Tables Have Turned 

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I'd insisted that Touya stay with me until... Fujitaka returned. Or something else happened. Either way, he's be spending the next few days, possibly his last, with me. He didn't want to involve Sakura, or anyone more.

I'd never referred to it as home. Because of my past, it wasn't home anymore. Home was back by Clow's side, cradled in his arms. But even those memories had faded, taken over, but never replaced by, the stoic soccer-boy's person, the surety of his mind, the comfort of his presence. I truly had no idea what I'd do without him. Maybe now would be the time to start pondering it? No, I chided myself. If I gave up trying to think of a way to get him well again, I'd feel as if I'd signed his death certificate myself.

As per custom, and out of friendship, I offered Touya the most comfortable room in the house: my own.

"I'm not letting you sleep on the couch, Yuki." Touya had learned long ago that my bedroom was the only bedroom in the house that I would actually enter. Yuki's reasoning for not going into the other bedrooms was that they were his grandparents.' As Yue, I had my reasons. One of them was Clow's bedroom, where we had slept together all those years ago. "It's your room. You're sleeping there." His voice surfaced my mind from the sea of thoughts I was drowning in.

"Well, then, To-ya," I said softly, "You'll be sleeping there with me. I'm most certainly not letting you on the couch. I want you near me in case something happens."

"It's settled then."

"My bed is most certainly big enough." I stared at him as he began to blush, becoming slightly embarrassed, and possibly shocked, at what I'd just suggested. He looked at me in disbelief, then, wondering if my words were in jest. He sometimes had trouble telling if my words were in jest. Even more so, recently.

"Are you serious?" I nodded.

"Ee, if you don't mind."

"Ie, I don't mind." A headache seized Touya, and he put a hand against his temple.

"To-ya?" He fell harshly against the wall, trying to hold himself up. I rushed over to help him, lacing my arm around Touya, under his arms, holding him up against me. I shifted into Yue's form for more strength as I lifted Touya in my arms. His eyes held no more pain when they opened again a moment later.

"What'd you do? The pain is gone," he said, resting against the cloth at my chest.

"I changed form so I could carry you," I said, the implications of my magic on Touya's state of health unknown, but suspected. I didn't set him back onto the ground, instead, did what I'd originally intended to do. I carried him into the bedroom, setting him on top of the thick down comforter, watching it sink around his form. As I watched out of the corner of my eye, Touya took the opportunity to look around my room. I don't think he'd ever been in here, despite all the times he'd been over. We usually had ended up studying in the living room, or, as it went most of the time, the kitchen.

My room had the same basic style as the rest of the house: traditional. The whole place was open and airy, the wall behind the bed painted in a mural of songbirds, flowers, and vines overlapping the night sky, and the moon. I smiled, as I doubted that Touya would've expected something like that from either Yue or Yuki. There was a painted screen covering the windows across the room, but higher up, the windows revealed the perfect night sky and currently, a glowing half-moon.

The north wall was covered with ancient, massive bookshelves, filled to the point of bursting. A glass and stone table was also covered in the books that I'd currently finished, and books that I was in the midst of. Behind the table was a loveseat, worn to the point of comfort. He'd know that I'd spent many hours there just by looking at it.

Next to the bed, a nightstand, and on the nightstand, a lone photograph. Touya's eyes widened slightly in recognition, looking at it. It was a picture that Fujitaka had taken of the three of us while we were on a picnic. It was Yuki, Sakura, and Touya, all asleep under the old Sakura tree in the park. My head rested on Touya's shoulder in the photo, and his cheek fell against my hair. Sakura was partially on both of our laps, in the embrace of the both of us. I watched the lack of expression on Touya's face as he picked up the frame. It was the only picture displayed in the entire house. Touya was sure to have noticed, what with all the time he'd spent with me.

"I miss this day," he said, running his fingertips gently over the glass. "I'm not going to get to do this ever again." Yue flowed back into Yuki, and I sat down next to Touya. "Two days. It's not long enough," he said, shuddering from the wash of my power. I looked at him curiously.

"Eternity wouldn't be long enough." I sighed quietly. "Do they know what it's from?"

"I was born with it, Yuki. It was dormant until recently."

"How recently is recently?"

"A little more than three months ago." My eyes went wide behind the glasses. A little more than three months ago, Touya had given up his power to save me. The power he had given, seemingly without a second thought was what had held the sickness dormant for so long.

"You knew, didn't you? Before you gave me your power?" Touya closed his eyes, nodding. "Why?"

"How could you ask that?" he asked me softly. "Kuso, Yuki, I saw you fading, dying in my arms. How could I not? I knew this was a possibility when I did it." I was silent as I lifted the photo from his lap.

"How the tables have turned," I said, running my fingers over the glass as he'd done, tracing the lines of the picture through it.

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	11. Never Let You Go

Point of Presence  
Chapter 11: Never Let You Go 

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I don't know how long we just sat there before one of us finally spoke. "I'm not letting you go this easily, Touya. You didn't let me."

"What? Yuki, don't you dare do anything that will take you down with me, or I swear on my mother's grave that I'll--"

"Kill me?" I finished for him. Touya fell silent again, looking down at the picture that I still held.

"Gomen, Yuki." I smiled, curling my fingers against Touya's cheek. He looked surprised at this, but didn't try to pull away from me. I wondered if all that warmth was natural, or from fever. After a moment, he sighed, leaning, almost subconsciously, into my touch.

"It's okay, To-ya. I can understand your being upset. But let's not think about that tonight, ne? You need to rest." And I do too, if I planned on actually accomplishing what I planned to do. Touya nodded, and I set the photo back on the nightstand.

"You look so tired, Yuki. God knows what time the kaijuu called you last night." I smiled, standing to get a change of clothes. I pulled a soft grey pair of sweatpants and a loose blue T-shirt from the bureau and went to change in the adjoining bathroom as I saw Touya crawl between the sheets out of the corner of my eye. He was already wearing the clothes he slept in: black, brushed cotton boxers, and a black tee. I closed the door quietly behind me, stripping down. Touya had managed a shower before he left his house, and I felt that I needed one myself. Yue, the eternally pristine part of me, demanded it. I couldn't go for more than a day and a half without a shower before beginning to get irritable.

The warm water from the shower helped me to clear my head. I decided against soaking tonight. Having a fresh body and mind again felt good enough to me right then. Simmering in hot water and thoughts wasn't going to make me feel any better. I dried my hair and dressed, this time in the sweatpants and tee, dropping my used clothes into the hamper, and padding back out into the bedroom.

Touya had buried his face in the down pillow, and was silent for a moment, as if just breathing in the scent. His arms wrapped around it as he laid on his side, his back to me. Then I heard a strangled sob, and noticed that he was trembling. The sight of it broke my heart. I walked silently over to him, hugging him as best as I could from the angle I was in. I felt him stiffen, ceasing all movement. "It's okay, To-ya. I'm not letting you go. You saved me. It's time for me to undo the damage I've caused." Touya let go of the pillow, and I slackened my hold. He turned to me, his normally expressive eyes filled with nothing but tears, fear, and a deep thread of uncertainty. "Gomen nasai, To-ya. I didn't mean--"

I trailed off as I saw the tears begin to spill from my friend's eyes. Guilt for having accepted Touya's gift of power in the first place, and therefore, putting him through this, flooded through me. I did all I could think to do right then. I laid down next to Touya under the covers, and pulled him close, holding him as he cried into my shoulder. I stroked his hair, his back, as he trembled against me, crying softly, and continued to hold him even as his tears ran out.

Touya laid quietly in the circle of my arms, and his shivering had almost quieted. "Gomen, Yuki. Arigotou. No one's held me like this since Okasaa was still alive." I was shocked by that. He'd told me once that he hadn't cried at his mother's funeral, but I hadn't any idea that no one even tried to comfort him. Then again, maybe he didn't let them. Sometimes even with his family, he was withdrawn. But I glanced down to see him laying against me, his body lining my own. His head rested on the flat between my shoulder and chest, and was tilted up to look at me. Our eyes met, and a now-or-never moment seized me.

I leaned down, catching Touya's lips with my own. It was the compound of years of welled-up emotion for both of us, and that might've been what made it so perfect; the fact that we'd both wanted to do it for a while now. The kiss was gentle, sweet, like a brush of warm silk, then it ended. "You're not leaving me, To-ya. You're not leaving me alone," like Clow did, I finished silently. "I love you too much to let that happen." The last was said so quietly that I wasn't sure he'd heard it. It was confirmed when I felt his heart thrumming through his chest, felt it trying to escape like a frantic bird from a cage of bone.

"I love you too, Yuki," he said almost as quietly. The embrace around me tightened slightly, affectionately.

"You've been saying that with your eyes since we became friends. I've wanted to hear it on your lips for a long time, To-ya." I felt another tear slip down his face and sink into my shirt.

"We both should've said it a long time ago. We've wasted so much time, and now... " Another sob cut his words off. "It's too late..."

"It's not too late. We have time, To-ya. I think I've figured out what's happening to you. But we'll both need rest if I'm going to attempt what I'm planning."

"What?"

"Sleep, To-ya. I'll tell you in the morning." I leaned down to steal another kiss that evoked the butterflies in my stomach to life. I tangled my fingers in his hair, pressing our lips more firmly together, opening my mouth to the kiss. Touya had done the same, and I felt an explosion behind my eyes as our tongues met for the first time. I realized that I'd go beyond the ends of the earth for the beauty that was resting on me at this very moment.

And I'd found something that I'd been missing since Clow had left me all those years ago. I was home again.

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	12. Shining Sun...

Point of Presence  
Chapter 12 : Shining Sun... 

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I woke with the glow of sunrise the next day, groaning lightly with the protests of a still exhausted body and mind. Touya was still deeply asleep on my chest, his long arms curled around me. He was likely as tired as I. He'd had a worse time than I. I decided that I couldn't very well function under such circumstances, let alone do what I needed to help Touya, so sleep it was.

I reached over, pulling the woven rope beside the bed, and the heavy drapes fell shut, making the room pitch again. I resettled carefully, ever mindful of my dozing friend. What would his reaction be when I told him that I wanted to bind us together for the rest of my life as another guardian? I repressed bitter laughter. I had offered Clow the same thing, but either I wasn't strong enough to take us through it, or he simply wished it not to be.

I kissed Touya's forehead, running my slender fingers through his tousled hair, brushing it out of his face. I dozed off again.

A few hours later, I woke again when Touya stirred in his slumber. He was obviously on the blade-edge of sleep, still half in dreams. He rolled over, nuzzling his face into my neck, muttering. I smiled as I felt his breath brushing across my neck. Then my own breath got caught in my throat.

Touya, still asleep, was kissing the sensitive skin between my jawbone and earlobe, gently growling my name. Do I do that? I wondered, ignoring the searing chills that ran through my body. Do I say his name when I sleep?

It hadn't been like this with Clow, I realized. It wasn't that I didn't love him. As Yue, I had loved him more than my own life, and very nearly proved that. I'd never found another that aroused these feelings in me, found none other than Clow and Touya that I adored more. With Clow, it had been a subject's worship and love for his god, whereas with Touya...

"I won't be your only love, Yue. Long after I'm gone, you'll find someone who can give you what I cannot. Eternity. They'll love you like you deserve to be loved. Promise me, Yue. Promise me that you'll let me go when the time comes."

With Touya...

"Welcome to Northwest, Tsukishiro Yukito-San. Please take a seat behind Kinomoto Touya. Kinomoto-San, show Tsukishiro around today. Make sure he's acquainted, ne?

"Hai, Sensei."

With Touya...

"I know you're not human, so you don't have to hide from me anymore."

With Touya, it was different. Clow had been right. He'd kept his promise after all. Clow had given me my freedom when he extracted that promise from me. The promise to trust my feelings to someone else when the time came. He'd made me someone to love.

Thank you, Master. I'm sorry I ever doubted you. I won't let him go without a fight.

I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It was past 9:30 by now. Touya breathed my name into my ear again, sending delicious shivers through my smaller frame, centering them somewhere less than pure. I decided that it was time to leave the vicinity before I was driven to doing something pleasurably drastic to my sleeping friend. I slid out from beneath Touya, rolling over, away from the warmth they had created together.

I lay there on my side, covered in cool sheets, my breathing and heart rate much too fast. I may as well have run a marathon. Maybe it hadn't been such an intelligent decision to sleep in the same bed after all...

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	13. ...Bright Morning

Point of Presence  
Chapter 13 : ...Bright Morning 

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I laid there, controlling my breathing, trying to calm my rapid heartbeat before I actually got up.

I squawked inelegantly as I was snatched up, embraced solidly. Touya trailed his lips from my ear down my neck, molding me against his body, throwing his top leg over mine. I gasped at the contact, blushing immediately as I felt my entire body react to the pleasant pressure covering me.

Touya cuddled closer yet, his lips brushing over my cheek. I groaned softly. One of Touya's hands rested low on my stomach. Gods, if he'd just move that hand down a few inches where it'd do me some good...

I realized what I was thinking, and chided myself for such thoughts. I could control myself better than this. I closed my eyes, trying to think about how best to go about handling this situation without waking Touya. But my mind refused to function on that tangent.

I wanted nothing more than to stay there in the circle of Touya's arms. I was torn between waking him, and risking the loss of this glorious contact, letting my slumbering friend continue to hold me. The decision was made for me as Touya stirred again, waking up. He was silent for a moment as he took in his surroundings.

I could almost see him turning as red as I had been a moment ago. "Gomen, Yuki. I thought you were a pillow," he said at last, his voice hoarse with what sounded like sleep. He began to untangle his limbs from mine, but I took hold of the arms that still held me, not letting him let go. I'd made my decision.

"I envy your pillows, then, To-ya," I said, pressing myself back, more fully into Touya. I felt his confusion, then acceptance, as he resettled as well, stroking along my stomach through the thin cloth of the shirt. I smiled. It almost tickled.

"We fit together," he said quietly, nuzzling his face into my neck. 

"Perfectly, To-ya. You were made for me." I felt him smile, bemused by the concept.

"How do you know that you weren't made for me?" he asked, breathing the question into my ear.

I smiled, feeling a small earthquake make its way through my body. "I was." Touya held me a little tighter.

"Aishiteru, Yuki." He leaned in to kiss my cheek, trailing his lips down over my shoulder, across my collarbone. A small movement on my part, and I heard him gasp. I turned over in the circle of his arms, thereby putting our fronts together, and blushed when I felt Touya's length pressing up against my stomach. Touya turned an adorable shade of red and shifted uncomfortably, closing his eyes. Me, too, I said silently, rolling my hips forward and pressing my own erection into his thigh. He opened his eyes, looking just this side of shocked. I grinned, and it slowly turned malicious. I inched my way higher, making sure he could feel each extra little rubbing movement as I teased him.

"Yuki..." His gasp for air came sharply to my ears, as I pushed him onto his back and slid atop him, straddling his hips. I leaned in to kiss him, and whatever he'd opened his mouth to say fell into oblivion as I gently ground my arousal into him. "Oh..." he moaned softly, those big hands of his coming down to rest on the curve of my hips. "Yuki, what are you... trying to do to me?" he managed, his eyes sliding closed, and head slowly moving from one side to the other, unable to keep still from the sensations I was bringing upon him.

"If you don't want this, tell me to stop, and I'm gone, koi." Touya's only answer was another soft gasp as I ran my fingers up his chest, playing absently with the skin that showed through the loose neckline. "I want us to have this memory," I said as I leaned down, pressing my lips against his before continuing to speak. "In the event that this doesn't work, and only one of us survives... "

"Nani?!" he asked, horrified suddenly. "No, Yuki, you're not going to do anything for me that will put this life, the very life I helped save, in danger... I won't let you!" I pressed a long, slim finger up against his lips, silencing him.

"In case only one of us lives past these next few days, I want us to have this memory," I explained, a tear of the emotion I had so carefully restrained sliding down my cheek. "I don't want the regret of never knowing, To-ya, and I don't want you to have it either." His determined face softened, and I saw his eyes waver. He brought my face down, brushing the lock of hair that had fallen obstinately over my eyes out of the way before I felt him kiss high on my cheeks, taking my tears from me with his lips. "But, if I fail and survive, I can't promise I won't follow you... I'll find you if you leave me, wherever you've gone. Always. I won't let you get away."

By the look on his face, he was promising the same. Dear god, whichever watches over me, don't let me fuck this up.

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	14. Cry

Point of Presence  
Chapter 14 : Cry 

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I ran my fingers down his chest, finding the edge of the shirt he wore. I felt his stomach tense as our skin touched, and smiled softly, splaying my hand over the hot skin there. With the aid of my other hand, I slid his shirt slowly upward, kissing the soft hot flesh as it was revealed. His hands found their way to rest heavily on my shoulders, kneading them briefly before he was forced to stop. The shirt found its way over his head, and somewhere onto my floor. My own shirt had been bunched up beneath my arms, I noticed. It probably had some help from Touya. I tore my hands away from Touya to pull it off, but before it ever hit the floor, my lips had once again descended upon Touya, claiming another part of him as my own.

We had made a silent pact, sometime that morning, not to speak of the impending thing that had helped drive us to where we were currently at. We wanted to enjoy each other without the heavy thoughts of Touya's sickness that hovered in the thick air surrounding us that morning. We were silently mourning for each other, for the thought of lost time, for the possibility of never being able to be together again like this.

Touya pulled me down on top of him, pressing our bare chests together, bringing our mouths together in an oddly gentle, calm kiss that made my mind dissolve with its intensity. I ran my hands up his sides, lightly scratching, giving him chills. His hands had shifted when he pulled me down on top of him, and they were now wound around the small of my back, locked there with each other. Then those gorgeous hands found their way up to my shoulders, kneading them briefly before they made their way down my back, touching me with merely his fingertips. They ran the length of my spine, pressing tentatively between the ridges of raised flesh. I arched into that touch, trying to get him to touch me with more surety. His palms barely ghosted over my ass, feathering their way lower yet to settle high on the back of my thighs. Why did he still hesitate?

My own arms were wound around his neck, crossing in back, and holding the opposite cheeks in my palms. He made a very willing captive, I thought as I laid small, passionate, butterfly kisses over his entire face, just to feel the heat of him against my face, which was cool in comparison. Then my mind struck upon something. "I won't break, To-ya," I whispered into his open mouth as I rotated my hips, grinding into him more harshly.

"You may not break, Yuki, but I'm not so sure about myself..." he managed around his gasping breaths. "If you keep that up, I'm not going to last much longer..."

"What makes you think that's not what I want? I won't let you break, To-ya. I'm yours. I won't do anything you don't want me to."

"I'm not going to stop you. I love you, snow bunny." His hands ran up my sides and reaching up and around to my face. I closed my eyes as he carefully took off my glasses, folding them and setting them on the night stand. I smiled as he did so.

When I opened them again, they had a violet sheen to them. "What-- Yuki, your eyes..."

"I know, koi," I said, kissing him, a harsh, sweet brush of lips that sent molten chills burning through me once more. "I want to be able to watch you." He looked up from under me with a look akin to anticipation and fear in his dark blue eyes. "Tell me no, and I'm gone, To-ya. I don't want you regretting."

"You know I won't." I smiled, outlining his jaw with my tongue, then arched my spine upward as I moved down him. I brushed my lips down his neck, placing a searing kiss in the hollow of his throat before tracing his collarbones and moving even further down. I shifted so that I was settled between his legs, his hot hardness pressing into my stomach. 

Touya sighed as I took the hardened nub of his nipple gently in my teeth, drawing my tongue over the tip, suckling it lightly. I did the same to the other as my hand reached down between us and cupped him through his boxers just a shade this side of hard, and started to squeeze gently, rhythmically. He made a strangled noise, his hands reaching down to grip the sheets on my bed. Before he could react further, I moved lower yet, tonguing a hot line above the waistband of his boxers. I looked up at him even as my mouth never left contact with his skin.

His head was tossed back against the pillows as I continued my attentions. His lips were parted, full from my kisses, his eyes tightly closed as his head rolled slowly from one side to the other in slow motions. I slid my fingers beneath his waistband slowly, so if he wanted to stop me, he'd have plenty of time to do so. He strained when I lifted the front part of the elastic waistband, delving inside with both of my hands. I ran them down along his hips, lifting the fabric carefully over his straining erection. I lifted his hips, then, running my hands back over his ass, taking the final bit of fabric with.

Touya was blushing furiously as I tossed the boxers off the bed. He was obviously fighting the powerful urge to curl up around himself, cover himself up. Another part of him was wondering if he should even do this. I felt a sad smile on my face as I flattened my hand against his lower stomach. He was making a conscious effort to relax. His eyes opened as if he were afraid of my reaction. I smiled again, not hiding anything this time as I took in the length of his body with my eyes.

I traced my eyes down him, starting at those incredibly wide shoulders, moving down his toned chest. The hand that was on his stomach stirred to life, went up to run fingertips through the valleys between the muscled of his toned stomach, then went still.

I wrapped my slender fingers around his shaft without warning him, and listened to the strangled gasp for air that came from him. I was somewhat startled, myself, when I actually felt the hardness in my hand. Like a delicate velvet covering smooth steel, I mused. He very nearly didn't fit in my hand; my fingers barely made it around him without squeezing. "Ah! ... Yuki..." he managed, his voice so much different than I'd ever heard it: nearly drowning in need.

"You are quite possibly the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, To-ya."

"Yuki... Oh, god..." he said hoarsely as I stroked him once, feeling the searing length shift beneath my palm. I grinned, and it only looked slightly predatory. I think. "So much for the shy snow bunny..."

I laughed as rose flushed his cheeks even brighter, then dropped down to place a kiss on his abdomen. His hands found their way into my hair, running through it before settling his palms over my temples.

Once again, without warning, I took him into my mouth. Touya very nearly screamed, obviously not having expected me to do that, and bucked back, trying instinctively to get away from the overpowering stimulus. I held onto him, not letting him slip from my lips.

"Yuki!" he yelled again, holding onto my head tightly, holding me still. After a minute, his muscles loosened, grip slackened slightly. I took the opportunity to take in more of him, swirling my tongue over the tip of his penis, pausing briefly at the slit to taste him. Most definitely not unpleasant.

Touya groaned beneath me as I worked him with my mouth, covering the part of him that wasn't immersed in my mouth with my fingers. I placed my hands high on his thighs, which had fallen open to accommodate me, running my fingers where his legs joined his body. I watched, my eyes heavy-lidded with lust, as he writhed and moaned under my touch. His eyes were closed, his breath coming in great heaves. His hands gripped my hair tightly, but not painfully as I dropped my hand to fondle his testicles.

That familiar ache in my jaw had returned, and I smiled inwardly. I was out of practice, if that even counted in Yuki's innocent form. I used the more catlike part of Yue to purr around Touya. There was a sharp cry and his hips jerked, trying to push himself more fully into my mouth. Once again, calling upon Yue's experience, I obliged him, opening my throat to his length, all the while purring. He began to thrust into my mouth, unable to stop himself. I let him, still caressing him.

I swallowed, flexing the muscles in my throat, and a choked cry escaped him. The muscles tightened visibly, and I knew he was close. "Un! Ah... ah... Un, Yuki! Omae..."

I know, koi, I thought, letting him hear it by implementing a tiny bit of magic. I reached up, pulling his hand down to mesh my fingers with his. Don't worry. I was still letting him all the way into my throat, and had timed my breaths so that I didn't choke. Every once in a while, I'd backed off a bit to suckle the tip of him, tonguing it roughly, then took him back into my mouth.

"Shit!" he hissed, stiffening. I pinched a nerve at the base of his shaft, sending the impending pleasure rocketing back into his body, and slipping the still-hard, straining flesh from my mouth. He'd barely strangled his howl of pleasure by biting his lip, which was now turning white. He was still trying not to respond the way he wanted to, was still holding himself back.

I smiled as I crawled up to settle my body next to his. The last time I'd had that done to me, I'd reacted so strongly that I'd passed out from the overwhelming experience. His body was still taut, his back bent in an arc off the bed as the pleasure rode him to his limits. My grin widened as I wondered whether or not he'd faint like I had.

After a full minute, he dropped back down, muscle relaxing. His eyes were closed, his breathing deep and erratic. He almost looked like he was ready to go to sleep, but I knew he wasn't. "Yuki, my god!" he gasped when he found his breath, wrapping strong arms around me, holding my to him tightly. "Snow bunny, that..." I smiled again as he failed to find the words he wanted. I brushed the back of my hand across his cheek. If I'd worn him out with that, I could ignore my own arousal. Just having him touching me would be enough.

After a few moments, Touya seemed to notice something. "I'm still..." I chuckled, feeling his length nudging at my thigh through the soft fabric of the sweatpants. "How?" he asked incredulously.

"It's a talent that I found out about," I whispered in his flushed ear, "a long time ago." He held me tighter to him, running his lips gently over my neck.

"Arigotou, Yuki-Usagi. Aishiteru. Zutto."

"It's not over if you want more, To-ya," I told him, almost ashamed at wanting him to do more after what I'd done to him. His hands made their way around to where my sweatpants tied together.

"If that's the case, It'll never be over."

"Good," I whispered, crying out softly as he cupped me through the soft fabric.

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	15. I Feel Loved

Point of Presence  
Chapter 15 : I feel loved

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I let myself get lost in my friend's touch as his other hand slid up my chest. He rested his hand over my heartbeat as if he could hold it in his hand. That same hand wandered slightly lower, outlining the muscle on my chest, before he moved to play with a nipple. Another soft sound escaped my lips as he held my erection a little more harshly.

"Yuki, I want more," he whispered, pressing his lips over my heart where his palm had rested only a moment earlier. I could only groan in response. My mind had left me at that point, and I would've been content for a long while, just having him touch me, but I'd denied him release once already. "I want you," he breathed heavily. "I want everything you can give me..."

"How?" I asked, breathless, between the searing kisses he was giving me. Indecision flashed across his face when he realized what I'd meant, when he realized I was letting him decide for the both of us; which of us would be top, and which would be bottom. I smiled lazily, knowing that I wouldn't mind either way.

"I want to be inside you," he answered shyly. I smiled softly, carefully pulling away from him and began to untie the closing on my pants. He caught my hands in his own, taking his arm from around me. "Let me?"

I nodded, laying back against the pillows, just slightly more than nervous about this entire ordeal. I knew it'd hurt, but that wasn't the reason I was so anxious. I hadn't done this in such a long time, and never in Yuki's form. It was a even a rarity when I felt my own touch; seven or eight times, total, and none of those times had been recently. Touya kissed the pale flesh on my chest, drawing his lips down me as his fingers toyed with the knot that had formed at the closure of my pants.

I'd nearly lost myself in the pull of his mouth when I felt the waist fall loose, and one of those beautiful hands ventured beneath the soft fabric. His fingertips grazed flesh, and my fingers dug into the sheets, gripping them hard. Touya's other hand joined the first and ran lightly down over the points of my pelvis, taking the front part of the sweatpants with.

I lifted my hips to help him, and he ran those hands back over the curve of my ass slowly, like he was trying to memorize the feel of my skin. He tossed the pants off the bed, then turned back to look at me.

I flushed at the hungry gaze he wore. His deep eyes raked down my skin, and I felt myself turning pink down to my toes. "Yuki, my god..." I searched his face, wondering what that smile was for. "You're more beautiful than I remember."

My blush darkened as the implication of that statement sank in. He'd seen me before? The question that hovered in my mind was stolen before I found the words to voice it. "Let me just say that I'm glad I didn't send the kaijuu off to find you that day..." he trailed off.

"Nani?" I asked, feeling confused, and more than a bit curious. He was propped up above me on his elbows, his face now hovering mere inches from mine, and when he spoke, I felt his breath caressing my cheeks.

"You'd just finished an archery contest, and I hadn't seen you since the end of it. I was supposed to take you home that day, and so I waited behind. The last of the team had already trailed out of the locker rooms, but you weren't amongst them. I remembered that you didn't shower with the teams. You were always either first or last. I thought you'd gone in early, but..."

"I take it you were wrong." He nodded, and I could almost see the images replaying across his face as he remembered.

"I thought no one else was in there, but was walking through to make sure I hadn't missed you. It was silent in there, and even when I'm alone, it's always been a sort of personal taboo to break the silence. You'd just turned on the water as I walked by. I turned to see who it was without even thinking. I don't know who I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't you.

"I thought that it was an angel standing there under the water." I knew exactly when this had happened, and was stunned that I hadn't noticed him. I suppressed a grin. Had I known he was there, I'd probably have invited him in. "God, it hurt so much not to be able to go over and kiss you right then, but I was so afraid I would've scared you away. So I just hid there by the entrance, and watched you..." He smiled and dropped down to kiss me deeply, thoroughly, slipping his tongue into my mouth and caressing my tongue. His eyes had closed, and he'd lost himself in the kiss. My own eyes were still partly open, watching the play of emotions on his beautiful face.

It was a physical strain not to take hold of him right then, to either bury him deep inside of me, or myself deep into him. His body still hovered above mine, and I could feel the heat from it emanating. The lower part of him had pinned my legs to the bed, and I reveled in the feel of being surrounded. He moved all too suddenly, taking that glorious heat with him. I whimpered a protest, but then felt his lips sealing around the tip of my neglected erection. I gasped, resting my hands on those broad shoulders of his.

"To-ya, you don't have to..." My words sounded weighted, even to me; my soft contralto turning into something darker. I gasped as he released me.

"I want to, Yuki," he said, dropping his hand over mine. I couldn't stop the butterflies in my stomach as he kissed the tip of me, taking my length in his hand. I fit more easily into his hand than he had in mine, I noted dryly. It wasn't that he was massively bigger, or I much smaller... In fact, we were much the same size. It was just that his hands were nearly twice the size of my own. Even this tangent of thought ceased to function as Touya began to stroke me, almost teasingly. I couldn't think beyond the attentions that were being paid me, and I nearly didn't hear him when he next spoke.

"Do you have anything? Yuki?" He kissed my stomach to get my attention, and I snapped out of the pleasure-induced haze.

"Nani? Eeto... There's lotion in the nightstand..." I managed, wondering how in hell I'd managed to complete a sentence. Touya reached over, and pulled the bottle out, squeezing a bit onto his hand, then setting the bottle aside again. He rubbed his hands together for a second, warming the lotion up. When he took hold of me again, I gasped sharply. The lotion was still cool against the burning flesh.

He picked up where he left off, stroking me gently. Amidst the mind-numbing pleasure, I felt him circling my entrance, coating it with lotion before pressing gently inward with one of his fingers. I fought the powerful urge to tense up and deny him entrance, and barely managed to do so. My breath fell outward in a sigh as I felt him slide in, stretching me..

He stroked me from both ends in a maddeningly slow rhythm, but I was enjoying every moment. He added another finger and began to go a little faster, keeping an edge on the pleasure, and adding a bit of pain to the mix.. After a while he began to look a little flustered. "Something... Mmm... Something wrong, To-ya?"

"No, just give me a moment. I've heard of something that I want to try." Another moment I felt him moving within me, causing a delicious sensation throughout my body. Then I heard him growl. "Finger to prostate... Come in, prostate..."

I would've burst out, laughing hysterically, if he had not, at that very moment, come into contact with the very bit of me that he was seeking. He rubbed across it strongly, and I let out a harsh cry as the pleasure assaulted me, and held tight to him, immediately wanting more. "We have contact," he chuckled. "Wow. That worked better than I thought it would," he said, stroking into me again slowly.

"To-ya, please!" I gasped like a fish denied water. I whimpered with the loss as his fingers left me totally.

"Should I get a condom?" he asked, nearly as breathless as I. I shook my head no. I couldn't catch or carry anything, and pregnancy... well obviously. I watched with heavy-lidded eyes as he coated his length with the remaining lotion. He looked down at me. I merely nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

He placed the tip at my entrance, and began to push forward steadily and slowly. I bit my lip, cringing as he made his way into me, stretching me painfully as he did. A tear fell from one eye and slid down the side of my cheek as he finally slipped past the second ring of tight muscle. Touya dropped his head to kiss me when he was about halfway in.

I felt myself begin to tense, so I wrapped my legs around his waist as I fought to stay relaxed. I drew a deep breath that sounded more like a sob, and he hesitated. "Daijoubu?" he asked hoarsely, kissing a tear from my face. I'd forgotten how much it hurts the first time.

"Hai... I'll be fine," I whispered back. He pressed a little harder, forcing himself deeper and deeper. I whimpered as a sudden burst of pleasure flooded me, tightening my legs around him, and pulling him the rest of the way in. I heard his cry and his arms faltered. He landed on top of me, his face buried in the crook of my neck. "Ah... To-ya... don't move... "

"Oh god, Yuki... I don't think... you have to worry about that." His hands wandered all up and down me as my body adjusted to having him inside of me. The tearing pain slowly subsided, and my heartbeat returned to a somewhat more reasonable level. I wasn't breathing in hiccuping sobs anymore. I just felt... unbelievably full and almost fully content.

I moved tentatively under him, and shuddered at the sensation. He groaned when I did, and seemed to stir to life. "It's okay, To-ya," I said, running my long fingers through his soft hair. I sensed that he was moving as little as possible as he rose ever so slightly above me once again. "I'm yours," I whispered softly. He smiled, rocking forward slowly. I gasped as he did so, not having expected the painful jolt of pain and pleasure that shot through me. Another tear slid down my cheek, but I felt it being kissed away. "Gomen, Yuki."

"Don't you dare stop, To-ya... Oh, god, don't stop..."

"Hai," he said, smiling, and began to thrust slowly, tentatively within me. He'd risen up slightly, just enough so he could move. He rubbed past that pleasurable little spot inside me again, and I gasped, his name torn from my lips once again. The pain I'd felt before hadn't lessened a lot, but rather had blended with the pleasure to create something all together better. Each of his movements caused sharp little sensations, chills that filled me up, then emptied me out, and each thrust became a little more desperate. I wound my arms around him, gripping his shoulders, and realized he was still restraining himself to some remarkable degree. The strain of it showed upon his face.

"To-ya..." my voice came out as a groan. "To-ya, stop being so... careful... with me." I dug my fingernails into his shoulders and tightened my hold around him, forcing him to ram himself more roughly into me. He let out a harsh breath, and lifted my legs back onto his shoulders.

My hands were quickly and effectively pinned against the bed as I got my wish. He rolled me back so that he was kneeling over me, and thrust slowly, repeatedly, into me, drawing himself nearly all the way out, then forcing himself in quickly. I felt myself beginning to shake as I pushed back to meet those thrusts. A fine sweat had broken out over his body, and I could feel him beginning to falter.

I wasn't much better off. Something low in my stomach had tightened, and the cramping sensation from his deep thrusts was sharper. I was close. His head had dropped down, and his mouth was sealed over the place where my neck met my shoulder, biting there. It wasn't hard enough to break the skin, but I knew I'd have a mark there.

He made a particularly deep stroke, and I cried out, seeing stars. Every one after that had his me in just the right spot. I knew I'd be bruised when all was said and done, but I didn't care. I'd asked him for this.

He let my hands go, dropping his body closer to mine. One of his hands came up to cradle my face, while the other took hold of me and started to stroke me in time with his thrusts. My eyes closed quickly, and my head fell back against the pillows and his hand, my mouth opened in a silent cry.

"To-ya!" I breathed harshly. "I can't hold on..."

"Then let go." I cried out again. "Come for me, Yuki," he whispered, driving himself deep into my core. That pushed me over the edge, and I screamed, convulsing around his thick shaft. My muscles tightened, clamped down on him, and took him with me as I fell. I felt my wings shoot outward, nearly knocking my nightstand over. I didn't know when I'd acquired them, but when the waves of pleasure calmed, I was too spent to care.

I felt Touya shudder, felt his thick hot seed spill inside me, and then the comfortable press of his body on top of mine.

We lay there, winded, and I wrapped both my arms and wings around him. He was still inside me, and it seemed that he had absolutely no intention of moving, not that I wanted him to. I just cradled him in my arms, and placed a gentle kiss on his hair. "Arigatou, To-ya."

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	16. Mourning Routine

Point of Presence  
Chapter 16 : Mourning Activities

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It was nearing an hour later that the phone rang. We hadn't moved more than a simple shifting of limbs. Touya was still dozing on top of me, and seemed to have found a home within me. We were both more than content with that current situation, and had no intention of moving. Every once in a while, he would stir awake and kiss me, almost like he was reassuring himself that I was still there.

We just let the phone ring, laying there comfortably in each other's arms. Then my answering machine clicked on. "Yukito-san? Oniichan? Are you there?" It was Sakura, and she sounded worried. Touya stirred to life in an attempt to get the phone before she hung up. I took pity on him, unwrapping a wing and lifting the phone off the receiver with a strong feather. I brought it up to my ear and answered it.

"Moshi moshi," I said softly. I heard Sakura's sigh of relief.

"Yukito-san! I was afraid you'd gone somewhere."

"Actually, I'm still in bed." Touya looked up at me, his eyebrows raised.

"Did I wake you?"

"Oh, no. I've been awake for quite some time now." He rolled his eyes.

"How's oniichan doing?" Oh, I could have some fun with this one...

"I think he's feeling better." I smiled mischievously."Would you like to speak with him?" Touya's eyes shot open and he started to pull away from me, shaking his head violently. I quickly wrapped my legs around him, locking my feet in back so he couldn't get away.

"Hai! ... But don't wake him up if he's asleep. He gets grouchy if anyone wakes him."

"It's okay. He's awake too, and he has no reason to be grouchy." I grinned. "Let me get him for you. And make sure you tell me if he's a grump to you because if he is, he's not getting any breakfast." Touya glared at me. I merely smiled back, handing him the phone. He put up a short silent protest, but I won that argument.

"Oi, kaijuu." I chuckled as I heard Sakura's excited chattering. She'd grow into herself someday, and become a knockout. Of that, I was sure. I could tell just by looking at Touya. Like brother, like sister. I kissed Touya's cheek and he gave me a glance. He obviously wasn't going to tell Sakura about us yet. I think she knew already. "Are you minding Daidouji-san?" he asked her, pointedly ignoring me.

How dare he? I lowered my eyelids, a smirk forming on my lips. I thought it was time he learned how hard I am to ignore.

I tightened my muscles around him, listening to his sharp intake of breath. It matched mine. I was still sore. He looked at me incredulously, and mouthed two words: "You're not..."

I nodded, rolling him forcefully, quietly, over onto his back so that I was sitting atop him. I pressed a finger to his lips, telling him to be quiet, and rocked my body backwards, pushing him deep within me. He was more than half-hard when I did this, but was fully so now. I heard his stifled groan for what it really was.

He tried adamantly to carry on the conversation and to continue ignoring me, but was failing miserably as I rode him, slowly driving him somewhere very near to insanity. I paused my actions to snatch the phone from his ear.

"Oniichan? What's the matter?"

"Sakura, can he call you back?"

"Ha... Hai... What... ?" She paused, and I could almost hear her smiling. "You told him, didn't you?"

"Nani?"

"That you love him." I felt a blush spread across my face. "I thought so. Take care of him, Yuki."

"I will," I said, smiling down at a very beautiful, very confused face. "Sayonara, Sakura-san." I heard her soft reply, then the phone went silent in my ear. I turned it off, setting it back on the cradle. 

"What was that about?" I smiled.

"Sakura knows, To-ya. Stop hiding from her."

"We'll have a long talk when... when I go home." My eyes saddened, but my smile was still in place. "What else did she say?" he asked, somewhat breathlessly.

"She asked me to take care of you." He closed his eyes, turning away slightly. "I'll do no less, koi, my To-ya." I turned his face back to me with a gentle hand on his cheek, and met his lips slowly, carefully, as if he'd vanish beneath me.

I started to move slowly on top of him, never losing contact with those soft lips. This time, it was unhurried. We simply enjoyed each other. I relished the feeling of his strong beautiful hands roaming my back, tracing my shoulderblades with his fingertips, running his fingers through my hair and feathers.

Our tongues met, dueling languidly between us. He tasted of cinnamon, of himself, and of some rich source of heat that couldn't possibly be described. When he paused for a breath, I followed the curve of his face with my lips and breath, finding his ear to whisper into it.

"Aishiteru," I breathed, feeling him shudder beneath me. We lost all sense of time as we made love to each other. It ended all too soon.

I held him within my arms and wings as we finished, the echoes of each other's cries echoing in our minds and ears. I dropped down heavily upon him, spent, and contented myself with rubbing my face against his shoulder like a cat. I slid off of him with a pained cry, cuddling against his side as we recovered.

I was complete, whole at that moment, and I never wanted to feel the engulfing emptiness inside me again. I felt him chuckle, a slow peaceful rumble that resounded in his chest beneath my ear. "What is it?" I asked softly. His arms went around me as he turned onto his side, resting our foreheads together.

"We need a shower." I nodded slightly, agreeing with him, but having no motivation yet to move. It was another quarter hour before either of us spoke again. "Would you like the bath first?" I offered him.

"You go first. I still don't want to get up." He kissed me, his hand running down over the curve of my hip.

"I'm not going to move either if you keep doing that."

"That's the idea."

I grinned, kissing him again, then reluctantly rose, willing my wings away as I walked, if somewhat stiffly, toward the shower. I blushed as I felt his eyes roaming over me. Although the urge was strong, I did not add any extra sway to my gait as I left the room, knowing where his eyes had settled. Okay, maybe I did. But just a little.

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	17. A Slow Ache

Point of Presence  
Chapter 17 : A Slow Ache

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I warmed up the water in the cavernous shower, then stepped into the stone and tile room, shutting the frosted glass doors behind me.

I don't think I'd ever been as frightened as I was right then. What if I wasn't able to do this? Maybe I didn't have enough power to save him. What if I failed to bind him to me, and he died anyway? Or if I did bind him, and then I died... Would I take him down with me? Then again, what proof did I have that he wanted that long with me as a companion? Maybe he didn't want what I wanted.

Too many possibilities ran through my mind, but what it finally came down to was one of five possibilities. He wouldn't let me go through with it. He let me go through with it, and I fail miserably, killing him. He let me go through with it, and I fail miserably, killing myself. He let me go through with it, and I fail miserably, killing us both. He let me go through with it, and I pull it off, and we're bound for as long as I'm alive. But if it worked, what then?

Would he be bound to me like I was to Clow? To Sakura? Or would I be his slave? My head was beginning to spin as I stepped into the stream of water, dousing my head, closing my eyes. I needed to stop thinking like this. It was very counterproductive. I just stood there for a while, letting the water run over my body, trying to relax.

Sore muscles complained, and I found myself happily ignoring them. My entire body was covered in a pleasant ache, compliments of my lover.

I startled myself when that thought crossed my mind. Touya and I were lovers... 

I smiled at that. I never wanted to let him go. But what if I couldn't keep him? 

There was nothing, realistically, that I could do until tonight. I'd just have to wait out the day, and hope that Touya could too. Today, I had a feeling, would either go too fast, or too slow. Maybe... I smiled at my thoughts... Maybe we could make love again later...

My body protested at the notion, and muscles I didn't know I had began to join in. I flinched as I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. My smile grew softer. Definitely later.

I gasped, nearly choking on the water as my head shot back. I'd been startled out of my thoughts when I was hugged from behind. "May I join you?" he whispered softly in my ear. I leaned back against him, catching my breath.

"You scared me, To-ya." I rested my hands on the arms that held me so protectively. "So this was why you wanted me to shower first."

"Ah, you've found me out," he growled softly into my ear, kissing my cheek. "I'll just have to make it up to you." Touya snatched up a cloth and a bottle of body wash from the nook in the wall, pouring out a little onto the cloth and working up a lather. He began to wash me from behind, my back still pressed solidly against his chest.

I couldn't stop a disappointed noise form escaping my lips as he separate us a bit, but began to purr as he started in on my back. I let my head drop back to rest against his shoulder, nestling there as he washed me. He turned to kiss my neck, one of his hands dropping to cup my ass gently. I winced as he ran a single finger down between my cheeks.

He rubbed me carefully around the edge, not entering me. He stopped when he felt me tense. "Daijobu?" he asked, looking concerned.

"I'm just a bit sore, is all." He drew his fingers away from there, trailing them back up over my hips before pausing. Touya lifted his hand up, rubbing his fingers together. I noticed that they were covered in a thin layer of silver.

"Yuki?" He rubbed his fingers together, feeling the foreign substance. "What is this?"

"Blood," I answered quietly. His hold on me loosened as he looked down. The same silver colour was washing down me in thin rivulets, carried away by the water.

"I did that to you, didn't I?" He looked at me, despair flitting across his features. "I... Yuki, I... Gomen, Yuki..." He began to step away from me, but I stopped him, laying my hand on the arms that still held me.

"You gave me what I asked for, To-ya. You have nothing to be sorry for," I told him sternly. "I told you, I don't want you regretting anything."

"But I hurt you." I turned around to face him, violet flashing gently across my eyes. I held him tightly to me as I spoke.

"It's a welcome pain that was lovingly given. I'm not hurt, koi. Don't worry. I'm not sorry for anything that has transpired. And the only thing that could make me regret is if I fail to save you tonight."

"But I do worry, Yuki. What are you planning to do?" I dropped my eyes to the floor. "What's wrong?" I struggled with myself as to how to best tell him. "Yuki? Tell me? Please?"

"I want to bind you to me," I said softly. I felt his surprise. "I can think of nothing else that would even have a chance of leaving both of us alive."

"How?" he asked softly. I looked up into those azure orbs and saw nothing but acceptance and love. It shouldn't have terrified me, but it did. He still held me, our bodies pressed together.

"I'd have to force your power back into you along with the power that I've gained over time to heal you. I cannot take it back then. You'd have to make the decision whether you'd share it back to me. If it works, you'd share my partial immortality and... live as long as I. And I'd be able to share the power you once gave me so I wouldn't begin to fade as I once did."

"I'd become a guardian, wouldn't I?"

"Probably," I answered truthfully. "But I don't know any of the other impacts. I don't know how we'd be bound..."

"And I'd live as long as you?"

"Hai, if it works. I... I offered the same to Clow, but in the end, I failed and nearly died."

"What? You..." I let Yue show through at my wrist where I'd fed Clow from myself. He'd ultimately rejected my offer when he woke whilst I fed him. His body rejected my power. He died the next day in my arms, and I was sealed by a preset spell that night. I showed Touya my wrist with the thick scar that I'd created. He held it gently in his hand, his thumb running along the raised line of stark flesh there. "Clow didn't do this to you, did he?"

"No. I made him feed from my power in an attempt to save his life. He was cruel when he had to be, but he never struck me in anger. Any scars I have are not from him." He looked at me, puzzled.

"What do you mean? This is the only scar I've seen on you."

"Yukito's form may be perfection, but that of my older form is marred beyond repair." I stepped out of his grasp, letting Yuki slip away. I swore softly when I realized I was still standing in the stream of water. My hair was soaked through. But I simply stood there as his eyes traced the battle scars on my bare form. They settled on a burn scar that covered the left half of most of my body.

"Yue, what are all these from?"

"They're from protecting Clow. I was his guardian, after all." His gaze drifted up my chest to a thick and ragged scar that crossed from my shoulder down across my stomach. It was patched with a different tone of skin, and I knew he was wondering about it.

"What are all the small ones from?"

"Whips," I said simply, not meeting his eyes. "I was captured and rather than have Keroberos face the same fate. I agreed to be their coquette as long as they didn't hurt Keroberos."

"Did they hurt you?"

"In more ways than I thought possible." I said quietly. It hurt to remember those long months that I was in an enemy's service. "I never told Clow the extent of what happened."

"Yue... Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"People were not as... sympathetic about that type of situation as they are today. I did not want my master knowing that I had failed him. But Keroberos went free during this, and he brought Clow back to save me." Touya gathered me in his arms and held me close once more.

"I cannot believe you would think that way. You protected him for so long, trusted him with your life, but you couldn't tell him the one thing that had managed to hurt you. You didn't fail anyone, Yue. You saved Keroberos from god knows what."

"He kept asking, but I just couldn't bring myself to tell him."

"Then why are you telling me?"

"I regret that there were secrets between us back then. I don't want to make the same mistake." He sighed, putting his hands on my shoulders, resting his head against my hair. His hand dropped down, and I could feel his fingertips grazing the scar tissue that covered my left hip. Hot oil had created that burn, spilled over me from a the gargoyles on a cathedral long ago.

His hands went around me, behind me, and took hold of the long bundle of hair that spilled down my back. I'd forgotten precisely how heavy it gets when it's wet. But I let him unclasp the tie that held it together and run his long fingers through the strands of platinum white. I was quiet as he held me, until I felt him working something into my scalp.

"You'll feel better when you're clean," he said as he gently massaged my scalp with his fingers. He rubbed the sweet smelling shampoo into my hair, all the way down to the tips, then carefully rinsed it out. "You haven't had this done in a while, have you?" I shook my head. How had he known? I realized that it didn't matter, and let him give his attentions.

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	18. Morning

Point of Presence  
Chapter 18 : Breakfast

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Touya tried to persuade me not to return the favor, but I wouldn't have it. He protested as I gently pinned him up against the wall under the shower head while I washed him. I won that argument, too.

I kissed him gently as I washed him, paying special attention to each but of him. I skipped over the sensitive flesh between his legs, leaving that area for last.

"Shall we go get breakfast now, To-ya?" I asked, mischief glinting in my eyes.

"Trust you to think of food at a time like this," he whispered hoarsely. "If you leave me like this, Yue, I'm not going to be responsible for my actions." He gasped sharply as I took hold of him.

"What were you saying, To-ya?" He groaned, his head rolling back against the sleek wall.

"I... seem to have forgotten," he said with a smile. I dropped down before him, trailing my tongue in a hot line all the way down him. I felt his muscles waver as I took him into my mouth.

"I could always find something to tide me over until breakfast, To-ya... something to suck on for a while..." I chuckled when his eyes went wide, enjoying my teasing as much as I knew he did.

"I never imagined... ooh... how bad you were... oh, god, Yue... or how good--" He trailed off, losing all semblance of having conscious thought, making unintelligible little passionate noises. I worked him in my mouth leisurely, taking my time. His hands found their way into my long hair as my fingertips rested just outside the juncture of his thighs. My hands found their way around to the curve of his muscled ass, slipping a slender finger down into the cleft between his cheeks. The tip of that finger circled his entrance before slipping in. Just the tip.

He groaned, shuddering, the grip on my hair tightening. I pushed that finger in slowly, steadily, before working it in and out, stretching him ever so gently, coaxing the muscles there to relax. His legs spread slightly, unconsciously, offering me easier access. I added another finger carefully, working them around gently, so as not to cause him any discomfort, feeling around for the spot that he'd found in me earlier. I knew I'd found it when he cried out, bucking forward, and further into my mouth. I held his hips with my weight alone, my free hand reaching up to stroke his balls.

He came, my name torn from his throat as I felt him in my mouth. I released him with a contented smile, licking him clean as he slipped away. The cat that ate the canary, I mused, and my smile grew into a grin. He slid down the wall bonelessly, and fell to lean against me. To-ya cradled me against him, his breath coming in great heaves that shook his entire body. I washed my fingers off in the soapy water that surrounded us, kissing him affectionately on the cheek.

"Aishiteru," I said softly, kissing him again. "I may not need breakfast after all. He had the grace to blush.

"I'm cooking for you anyway, koi. You'll probably need your strength." I agreed. We eventually made our way out of the shower, crawling into the tub to relax. The rest of the day would be spent building my strength. I was spent, if not magically, then physically. So much, in fact, that I'd decided to go right back to bed after I ate. And I think Touya had, as well. Maybe I'd take him with me and use him as a pillow.

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I yawned as he stood over the stove, cooking our breakfast. It turned out that we were in the mood for something a bit heavier than my usual breakfast of rice. So it ended up being eggs, flatcakes, bacon, and whatever else struck our fancy at the time. It was a decidedly American feast. Neither of us complained.

Touya watched me from the counter as the last flatcake dropped down onto the plate. He grabbed the coffee pot, following me into the dining room. We ate in relative silence, just enjoying the company the other provided. Soft music from my broken CD player filled the dining room. It was a soft song that I couldn't recognize.

I yawned again, still not having recovered fully from my lost nights of sleep in days past. Touya looked up from the tall stack of cakes in concern. "Daijobou, Yue?"

"Hai, I'm fine. Just tired. I haven't gotten much sleep in the last few days."

"I'm sure this morning didn't help any, then." I smiled.

"Probably, but I wouldn't give it up for the world." My smile softened. Not the world, Touya, but for your safety. I took a drink from the mug. "You marked me, To-ya. I'm yours now, whether you want me or not." And it was true. I could still feel the ghost of fullness, feel him within me, and I knew that feeling would never leave.

"What do you mean, 'whether I want you or not?' How can you doubt that after what happened between us? If I die, I'm coming back to haunt you, Yue, I swear to that."

"I'd like that," I said softly. "You haunting me." He smiled, taking another bite. Touya looked very pale all of a sudden, and I could feel the pain beginning to radiate from him. It was anguish, whether physical or mental. I sent off a small wave of energy, and he shivered when it hit him. I got a grateful smile in return. "I'm going back to bed when I'm finished. I need some rest." I paused, looking at him. "You do, too."

"Would you let me sleep with you again?" he asked with a slight blush. I chuckled.

"I haven't complained yet, have I?"

"Arigatou, Yue."


	19. Preparations

Point of Presence  
Chapter 19 : Preparations

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After breakfast, with a little help, mind you, I managed to pull my hair back into some semblance of order. The long strands had been mussed and wet from the shower, as well as the events that followed. Maybe I finally had some colour, I mused. There was still a bite-mark on my shoulder that showed no promise of coming off any time soon. I rubbed it, a faint smile of remembrance spreading across my face. I was again dressed, although not as much as I should've been. I hadn't bothered with a shirt. Only the light white pants of my normal garb were on.

Touya nearly fell over at the sight of me, and I couldn't help but smile. I crawled between the dark blue sheets that had replaced themselves in our absence. Touya slid in next to me, keeping cautiously to one side of the bed. After all that had happened this morning, he still seemed shy. I guess I couldn't blame him. Had I been anyone other than myself, I probably would've as well. If I'd been only Yukito, I probably would've been blushing to high heaven. Hell, I was surprised that I wasn't doing that now.

Touya's breathing had slowed over the course of a few minutes, as did mine. This is ridiculous, I thought, and rolled over, spooning my body against his back. It's not like we hadn't been making love all morning. I smiled as I heard his breath quicken once more. I doubted that I'd ever get tired of that.

"You just don't want me to sleep, do you?"

"Oh, quite the contrary, To-ya. I'd just as soon never leave this bed again." I smiled, sliding one arm under his neck, cradling his head against my neck, and draping my arm over his chest. His hand came up to rest on my arm, and I soon felt myself nodding off, drunk on the scent of his hair.

"I won't leave you, koi." I smiled at his words, kissing his head softly, and falling deeply asleep.

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I woke what seemed like much too soon. Touya was still curled in my arms, contentedly asleep. The buildup of my power roiled within me, and I was hard-kept not to release some of it out of sheer discomfort of the pressure. I'd purposely been compiling strength for the sole purpose of Touya since I figured out that he'd been sick.

I slid out of bed, looking back at him for a moment. Gods, he was beautiful. I allowed my gaze to drop to the floor as I walked silently out of my room. Night had fallen, and the house was silent as I walked through it. I passed the hall that led to Clow's old room, and I allowed myself a glance down it. It'd been so long since I'd been inside...

It was like an invisible force that drew me -- the next thing I knew, my fingers were grazing the handle, pushing it down, and letting the door fall open. And Clow's presence stood before me.

"It's been a long time, Yue." I refused to look surprised, but nodded. "You know how to save him. He's yours, my angel."

"What if I'm not strong enough?" I asked.

"You will be. I have faith in you. After all, you have never let me down."

"But I let you die, Master..."

"I'm not your master, Yue. You were as strong as I since the moment I created you. And you did not let me die, angel. It was my time, Yue. I chose it. I chose to free you, to give you another to love. One who could love you back as much, if not more than, myself. I foresaw Touya, and knew that he was your completion. Don't think me greedy, love. I am in him, and Sakura, and Eriol, and Fujitaka. I never left you," he said as his fingers brushed my cheek, a ghost of what he once was. "You know what you have to do, my angel."


	20. My Love, My Life

Point of Presence  
Chapter 20: My Love, My Life

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Now or never, I thought, leading Touya into Clow's bedroom, my grip on his hand gentle. He was bordering on terror, but the trust I felt coming from him was unadulterated. I stopped in front of the bed, unused for ages, but still complete in its perfection. I could not meet Touya's eyes as I spoke.

"The first part is easy enough for me, Touya. Giving you back your power, and mine along with it. If your body accepts it, you will heal. After that, you'll have to make the choice. Whether or not you'll share it back to me. There has to be a loop involved."

"What do you mean?"

"We have to be connected... so that our bodies form a loop. One of us will have to be inside the other." He nodded.

"How do you want it to be?" he asked softly. I knew he was blushing again, and I smiled.

"However will be the most comfortable for you. But in doing this type of magic, I can't promise that I'll be in total control of my actions. I don't want to hurt you, To-ya." He walked up behind me, wrapping his arms around me carefully, as if I'd break if he held me any tighter.

"I want to feel you inside me this time, koi. I trust you."

"I don't want to hurt you--" he silenced me with a kiss.

"You won't," he said, his lips still brushing over mine. Then he kissed me again, and I fell into him, pushing him back onto the bed. I felt him hard and huge against my stomach, pressing into me as I pulled at the clothes that he still wore. Part of my mind registered his hands pulling at the cloth that covered me, and after a moment, tugging it off. I tore my lips from his, and dragged my nails across my the crook of my neck, splitting it open effortlessly. Touya looked surprised, recovering momentarily from the madness that had seized us both.

"Drink," I said hoarsely, leaning down further upon him. He did so without question. I shuddered as I felt his lips seal over the wound, and felt him start drawing the silver blood from it. I pressed myself roughly at his entrance, and as gently as I could, pushed myself into him. He bit down on my neck hard as I felt myself finally slip inside him. I heard the pain in his breaths, and I made myself stop all motion. The power was beginning to take me over, and I felt myself losing control as my power reserves drained into Touya.

It felt as if I was watching us from somewhere else, almost like when I used to watch from inside of Yuki. I was suddenly and violently reminded of where I was when I felt Touya shudder his final acceptance of me, relaxing, and giving himself over to my attentions. I began to move inside him, listening to the small whimpers of pleasure he made when I hit that intense little spot inside. I wanted to break the delicious suction at my neck off so I could explore that beautiful mouth of his with my tongue.

But I didn't. I couldn't let myself be greedy like that right now. Not when it meant Touya's life or death. Instead, I let my head fall forward, pressing my lips against his shoulder as I buried myself deep inside him again. I was shaking with the effort of keeping myself moving, yet I couldn't stop. Something beyond me was controlling me like a puppet, and part of me was thankful for it.

I felt Touya's muscles seize up beneath me, and his arms around me felt a little bit tighter. He was close. I reached down between us with a hand, wrapping my fingers around him gently. I heard my name, however muffled, come from his busied lips as his muscles clamped down on me. I followed him down, filling him as I felt every remaining drop of power leave me. I didn't even have the strength to cry out as I collapsed on top of him. His startled gasp reached my ears when I felt the tingling feeling I got when I was disappearing as Yukito. Touya rolled us over, not pulling himself off of me, but letting go of my neck.

I was drained now, dying as he had been just moments before. I used my last bit of strength to pry my eyes open, to watch him. His lips were tinged silver, and his deep blue eyes seemed to swirl. The guardian's blood ran his red blood silvery and pale. I could almost see it happening before my eyes. What I did see were the dark wings filling out on his back, as black as the midnight of his hair, and him turning those drowning blue eyes on me, stunned at his own transformation. He gathered me up in his arms, doing just as I had done. He cut at his neck with his fingernail, drawing blood -- silver now, I noticed -- and helped me press my lips to it. My throat swallowed convulsively as I got my first mouthful. After a moment, I felt his mouth back on my neck, drawing carefully on me. Just my blood this time, as he shared my power back with me. There was a starburst behind my eyes before my world went white.

I heard him call out my name, fear filling it, and then even that left me.

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	21. Something Lasting

Point of Presence  
Chapter 21: Something Lasting

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Memory was all that existed of me right then, that and the remnants of a personality. Wherever I was, I wasn't quite sure how I'd gotten there. There was something darker existing beside me. Not moving, not necessarily living. Just existing.

"Why are you here?" it asked, and some distant part of my remaining person recognized the presence as Clow. Could spirits shrug? "Your lover is waiting for you, angel. Gather yourself."

"To-ya..." I whispered. "Am I dead?" I asked softly, not really expecting an answer.

"No, angel. You aren't dead. Very close to it, but you're not gone yet. Gather yourself, and go to the one you're bound to, or he will die with you."

"I did it?" Clow's presence nodded. "We've been bound?" It nodded again. Clow had given me the boost that I needed to bind us both and live. I enveloped him in myself, thanking him with everything I had. He merely chuckled.

"Go now, angel. Be happy with your life. With your companion. Love him as he loves you."

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"Yuki! Yuki, oh, god..." Was... I was back... I felt like my chest was about to split open. Air... I wasn't breathing. I forced my chest to unlock, and inhaled a huge breath of air. I felt like I was drowning, then the rush of air hit my head, and I became dizzy. "Yuki!"

I was crushed as Touya held me tight to him. "Air!" I gasped as I couldn't breathe again. The grip around my chest lessened, and I found myself, still gasping, staring up into the most beautiful blue eyes I'd ever seen.

"Yuki! My Yuki!" His face was streaked with tears, and the look on his face was indescribable. The lines of his beautiful face were curved with relief where moments ago, they'd been twisted with agony. "I thought... I thought..." His voice broke off in sobs again, and he gave up trying to speak, and just held me to his shaking body.

"I love you, To-ya," I said quietly, into his shoulder, still too weak to move. I felt power slowly draining back into me. Gods, we really were bonded together. I'd done it. I put my arms around his shoulders, resting them on his wings. The tears rolling down his face dropped down onto my own cheeks, and traced themselves onto my lips. What should've been salty was sweeter than honey. The taste on my tongue was not just his tears, but our intermixed blood as well. "We did it, koi. We did it." Exhaustion was getting the better of the both of us. The link that rested between us communicated that very clearly. I had the feeling that we'd know how the other felt from now on. And somehow that didn't bother me. Touya's sobs calmed slowly as he held me.

"Don't ever scare me like that again," he begged, cradling me safely in my his arms. I nodded, the combined rhythm of our heartbeats serving to put me to sleep. The same thing was happening to him. I felt it. It was an odd sensation, really. One that I'd have to explore to the fullest when we were back to full strength. I fell asleep to the sound of Touya's whispers in my ear, and the feel of feathers around me. But I'd be content with this arrangement forever. From the new feelings flooding through me, the ones that weren't mine, I could tell that he was in the same state of mind that I was. Neither of us wanted to be alone again. Neither of us would be alone again.

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	22. NOTES

If anyone wants a sequel, let me know in the reviews or by emailing me. I've got a few different directions I can take this.

gothangelic 


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